Oh, Noah...

Noah - "Where we going"

Me - "We're gonna go home because it's time for Natalie to go night-night."

Noah - "I wanna watch something."

Me - "I think it's time for you to go night-night, too."

Noah - "No. I wanna watch something."

Me - "No. You're gonna go night-night."

Noah - "No. I'll watch something and then go night-night."

Me - "No. You go night-night and when you wake up, you can watch something"

Noah - "That's not a deal."

Me - "We'll see."

A few days ago we were driving past a church and Noah asked if it was a castle. I told him it was a church. He said, "That church has a BIG hat."

I asked, "A big hat?"

"Yes. A BIG hat. Look, there's a church, too."

"That's right. There's another church."

"That church has a small hat."

"A small hat?"

"Yes. A small white hat."

And then I realize the "white hat" is the steeple. How funny!!

Things I thought I'd never say (part 2)

Dave had to go to White Plains a few weeks ago for work. He used my roll-board suitcase because the handle on his is broken. I can't tell you the last time I used that suitcase - clearly (keep reading).

When he came home, he unpacked it and left it in the living room for the kids to play with. They love playing with the suitcases and Noah likes to pretend he's "going to the airport to see Grampa Dirt".

Dave and Noah were outside, I was on the computer and Natalie was playing in the living room with the suitcase. I hear paper rustling and look to see what Natalie has found that she is possibly eating. She has opened one of the small zip compartments and has emptied out the bandaids. No big deal until I focus a little more on what's in her mouth and not on the floor aound her. The following quote is DEFINITELY something I never thought I'd say:

"Natalie, don't eat tampons."

Luckily, Noah was outside so I didn't have to worry about him asking, "What's that?" I had a good laugh to myself when I wondered what the security checkpoint must have thought when Dave cleared security with tampons in his suitcase. :)

Famous Noah Quotes

Every week when we're leaving church we ask Noah what he learned in Sunday School. We usually get varied responses that include the names Jesus or Mary along with other commentary about the most important part of Sunday School: the toys and the snack.

Yesterday as we were heading home we asked:

"Noah, what did you learn today in Sunday School?"

He replied: "We learned about my Ark!"

Dreams

Noah hasn't been sleeping well since we got home from Connecticut. He's insistent that we lay down with him until he falls asleep. We're not sure why or where he got the idea that laying down with him is part of the bedtime routine. We don't lay down with him and it requires a little more effort at bed time but why play into it and have more problems later.

I've been sleeping in the guest room because I go to bed so much later than Dave. I'm afraid if I sneak in to bed, he'll wake up and be too tired for work the next day.

Noah comes into "my room" a few nights ago at 4:30 and all he can say as he runs across the floor and buries himself into my shoulder is, "I'm so scared! I'm so scared! I'm so scared!"

"Buddy! What are you so scared of?"

I pull him into bed with me and he says, "That man. I'm so scared!"

"What man?"

"That man. That man over there."

"What man? There's no man."

"That man over there."

"Over where?"

He points to the chair in the corner of the room. As I pull him closer to me to calm him down, I feel that he's a little wet and needs a diaper. I tell him that I have to go downstairs to get him a diaper. He looks at me, begging with his eyes, and asks if he can come with me.

Every part of me wants to tell him yes but I know that if I take him downstairs with me, I'll never get him back to sleep. I tell him that I'll turn the bedside light on and leave the door open. He agrees that leaving the light on and the door open will work for him in my 15 seconds of absense.

I head downstairs, knowing how scared he is, almost swearing there's a man in the house. I'm such a chicken that now, he has me convinced that there must be someone in the house; he's seen someone in his room. I reason with myself: the gate was closed and no one could get upstairs without opening the gate which would wake me and Dave much less all the way to Noah's room without me hearing the floors creak. Okay - I'm good! I head back upstairs with the diaper.

I go into the room and Noah is really staring hard at the chair in the corner of the room. I ask him if he's okay. He tells me no and is insistent that there is a man behind the chair. (You have to understand, we're not talking about a small rocker. It's a large, oversized, chair that is almost as big as a small loveseat. It's at an angle in the corner so someone could very easily hide behind it and we would never know). Okay - now I'm freaked out but I continue to reason with myself on the same logic. "No one could get upstairs without opening the gate which would wake me and Dave" I know that if Noah sense me being scared that we're really screwed.

I calmly, in the most loving maternal voice I can muster, say, "Noah. There's noone over there." He is looking at the chair and would burn holes through it if he could because he's staring so hard. Okay - reasoning with myself is starting fail - "Stay calm! Stay calm!"

I want to run down the hall and wake up Dave but it's a "school night" and I know there isn't really anyone behind the chair. He'll think we're both crazy but I'm really starting to get scared. I decide, before running down the hall, waking up Dave and defeating the purpose of me sleeping in the guest room, is to go "look" for myself. If there is really someone there, I'll scream, it'll wake up Dave, it'll send Noah running down the hall to "Dave's room" and then Dave will save us all. I'd say my logic is running pretty good for what is now 5 am. "Stay calm! Stay calm!"

"Noah, there's noone over there. Do you want me to go look?"

Thumb in his mouth, clutching dog, near tears, he looks at me with puppy dog eyes and nods.

Okay - here goes nothing. "Please God!! Do not let anyone be behind that chair!!"

Whew!!! It's clear!!!! Relief!!!!

I tell Noah that there is noone back there but I can tell by how he is looking at me and the chair that he's still not sure. "Noah. If I move the chair will that be better?"

Again - thumb in his mouth, clutching dog, near tears, he looks at me with puppy dog eyes and nods.

I push the chair all the way into the corner so it is completely flush with the wall. I climb back in bed hoping that now, we'll be able to go back to sleep. I know that there is no way he'll go back in his room alone and I'm too tired to care so I let him sleep with me. I turn the light off and see that we've been up for a little more than an hour. Oh - I'm gonna hate life tomorrow and I'm gonna need an extra large Starbucks!

It's a cool night and the window is open in my room. A car drives by and Noah rolls over, gets inches from my face to be sure he can see me in the dark and says, "Did the cow go back in the barn?"

Um - okay?!?! "Yes buddy! The cow went back into the barn."

He rolled over and I didn't hear anything else from him until 8:30. Dave has already left for work so I didn't get my morning run to Starbucks (refernce posting "Mom Brain") but I got an extra hour of sleep to make up for the hour and a half I was up in the middle of night. I can't go without completely so I load the kids in the car and we head to Starbucks.

The chair is still pushed all the way against the wall and will probably remain that way indefinitely. After that night, I don't think I would ever stop wondering if someone were hiding behind that chair if I moved it back to where it was.